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Essays
A Post Deathly Hallows Analysis on the Realism of Harry/Ginny
By Chrysanthemum
A/N - The following quote is not a direct quote, it is a compliation of thoughts expresses by various fans, and reworded for clarity. “It's really unrealistic for people who are in love as teenagers, to marry and have children and to live ‘happily ever after’. We're missing the scene when Harry finally falls in love with her. The love between them is just not understandable for the reader. Ginny never argues with Harry, or has any conflict with him at all. It's nice to have a girlfriend that never argues or gets upset, but the lack of a foundation for their relationship makes their relationship very shallow.” Is it unrealistic for a couple to get together while still teenagers, fall in love and eventually marry and have a family? If realistic means what is normal for today, then for many readers their relationship will feel unrealistic. However that does not make it so. In the past, people tended to marry younger than they do today, and they usually knew their marriage partner for years before they actually became a couple. There is immeasurable value in being able to know a persons character through years of experience, without sexual tension clouding one’s judgment. Today that is no longer the norm, much to our societies loss. Marriages, and hence families that have a foundation in friendship are more stable and less prone to breakups and divorce than unions based initially on romantic attraction. We need to remember that Harry’s struggle against Voldemort is the focus of the story Rowling gave us. She was not writing a romance novel. While it may seem more romantic to suddenly meet that special person one day, fall in love, have a conflict and resolution and then live happily ever after, there is absolutely nothing wrong with falling in love with a friend. In real life we usually meet people and know them for years before a romantic relationship develops. And as far as stability goes, this kind of relationship has a much better chance of turning out well because of the common culture two such persons have. Since year One, we have seen Harry interacting with Ginny. From the first day he meets her, and finds himself watching her run along the platform, to sensitively covering up her embarrassing moments in year two – the butter dish incident, the singing card that he could have simply thrown away, but didn’t – all the way to watching her play with butterbeer corks and looking to him very much like a cat. We see him both appreciating her sensitive emotions and protecting them (when other boys would have made fun of her to cover up their own embarrassment), and noticing her attractiveness. He got to know what a great Quidditch player she was, and he liked that. He noticed her magical skill in the DA sessions. He found her funny all the way from year two, when they laughed together over Percy’s girlfriend. Simply put, Harry has liked her as a person for years. And unlike his other female friends, Ginny does not clash with him emotionally. Hermione overwhelms him with her worrying and sudden tears, Luna makes him uncomfortable with all her non-sequitors, but Ginny is more emotionally compatible with Harry. Harry does not seem bothered by angry outbursts from her and Ginny is not bothered by Harry’s moodiness. Having grown up with a house full of boys she is far more comfortable dealing with men than the other girls in Harry’s life. She makes him feel safe and comfortable. All that was missing was a sexual attraction, without which a friendship is just a friendship. And in fact we do have the scene when Harry’s friendly affection turns from sisterly to romantic. When Harry and Ron discover Ginny kissing Dean Thomas, Harry’s reaction surprised even him. From that point on, Harry began to notice his physical attraction to her. Now if that was all he felt for her, then we could call it lust, and dismiss it as shallow. But based on the fact that he has known her and been friends with her for years, we know that this is not true. It may not have all the racing hearts moments of modern romance stories and movies but it has what a real relationship needs for long term success. That makes it far more realistic in the end. My own parents were like that. My mother met my father when she was 12, and they began “going steady” when she was 15. My Dad was 14 when they met. They dated throughout my mother’s entire High school career, even after my Dad went to college. More than 40 years later they are still together, are each other’s best friend and are still in love. Two of my siblings also married friends they had known for years before they became romantically involved. To say that this scenario is unrealistic simply means it’s unfamiliar. It is simply not true that Ginny never argues with Harry. She is the one friend he has who argues right back at him when his anger scares his other friends in OOTP. She told him straight out what she thought about his listening to a book, causing him to have to defend himself to her in HBP. When he told her not to call his best friend a prat, she did not meekly agree and apologize. She retorted her opinion and gave him the choice to deal with it or not. The only serious disagreement we see Harry and Ginny having is whether Ginny should be allowed to fight in the Battle for Hogwarts. She knew she was capable, in spite of her underage status. He knew he could not stand to risk her getting hurt or killed. Her heart was already turning away from her parents and toward Harry’s because it took a look from Harry to make her agree. Ginny’s acquiescence to Harry (and she did acquiesce to Harry, because it was only after Harry’s nod that she stopped arguing with her parents) showed that she genuinely respected his opinion. It showed she trusted him, and wanted to please him. She still wanted to fight, and we know she did just as soon as she got the chance. So as much as she respected Harry she still chose to defy his wishes. That hardly makes her the girl who never argues with him. Most importantly, Ginny represents the biggest conflict Harry faces. He knows he must eventually confront Voldemort, and may in fact die doing so, but he feels torn because of what Ginny means to him. She is home and family and she is the future. He wants more than anything to have that life with her, and is bothered by the idea of her having a future with someone else. Yet he knows for her sake and for everyone else’s he must go on to face Voldemort. Any future dreams he may have with her are impossible as long as Voldemort lives. It took a great deal of courage for him to turn away from her, and to give up his dreams to do his duty. Harry did not hesitate to fight Voldemort when he was 11 years old, but saying no to our selves is much harder than facing an enemy. That is why he could not speak to her when he began his walk into the forest. He knew he would not be able to do it. Ultimately they each put the others needs above their own. Ginny let Harry go, because she understood his need to rid the world of Voldemort. Harry let Ginny go because he needed to make the world that was safe for Ginny. That takes a maturity beyond both of their years. To sum up, Harry and Ginny’s relationship is realistic, solid and believable. It has the foundation a marriage needs to be successful, and when they finally can be together it is after facing the hardest challenge in life, that of denying themselves. |
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